I Have No Smiles for You Today

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels.com
I have no smiles for you today
I will not push away my melancholy
My face is painted in shades of grief I refuse to hide

I have hidden my pain
My shame
My fear
My rage
For far too long

I will not hide this grief from view
I will not bury deep my truth
I have suffered for years in silence
I will do my mourning in the light

I am red and raw
Bruised and beaten
Emerging from nightmares
Questing toward a life unburdened

Dead dreams crunching underfoot
Like so many fallen leaves
Shattered hopes glittering
Like shards of glass in my wake

I have no smiles for you today
My mourning clothes are on display
And when its done things may not change
I have put all my masks away

-gws

The Note

Photo by GWS
I received this wonderful note in the mail today. I happened to be looking at a FB post from the person who sent it when I opened it. It is a beautiful expression of appreciation and love, unexpected but wholly welcomed. It came on a day when it is a hard day. Where getting out of bed was hard. Fighting through the school day was hard. Where focusing on work is hard. This person’s words served a divine purpose with divine timing. I needed something to remind me I am enough. Something to remind me that I am seen in this moment when I’m feeling my most hopeless and helpless. Something to remind me that there is love and friendship and beautiful simplicity in my world to buoy my spirit in rough waters. Thank you, beautiful new friend. Your thoughtfulness threw me a lifeline today. I am blessed to know you and blessed to have the opportunity to get to know you better in the future. Thank you more than words can convey.
-gws